Preparation
T-15 Base Day
T-15 - Base Day Audio
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Preparation
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Hi all,
I’ve just signed up so am at base day today. Recently re-realised that I can’t trust my mind on drink so I often have more than I want to because I lose the power to think rationally after a drink. This leads to constant regret.
Managed to give up for 5 years in the past with the help of AA but I’d like to try something different this time which is why I’m here. Those 5 years were great looking back on them and I want the serenity I had then back again.
I think daily focus on the issue is necessary to help me remember what I want and not just fall back into old habits.
Good luck to all here!
Day one for me today. I am sick of my alcohol use. It is affecting my health and I am not continuing with it. I have quit before for a few years, but the past 4 years have been heavy drinking. I know that I can quit as I have done it before. I absolutely hate what alcohol does for me mentality and physically. Today is my day 1 sober and I intend to continue my sobriety with the help of this course.
My first day to. Drinking is ruining my life and l feel ashamed, weak, a fraction of who l remember being before the drink took over. Sue. F
Hi, Ifeel like I am always mostly drunk or thinking about it. I hate it but I can’t just stop. When I have tried, I get the shakes badly. I can’t work or function anymore and have overdosed with alcohol and opiods and benzos so there is a lot I need to work on. I am just scared of the seizures and poyential death again.
I suppose thats why we taper but I hope I can….any advice??
Hi Lara,
My situation is similar to yours. My alcohol use crept on me from being moderate daily to excessive over the last 6-7 months so I’m nearly always in an impaired state and have become used to being like that. I too have a dependency on benzodiazepines (12-15 years). In the past I had two serious seizures when I tried to stop too abruptly. I successfully detoxed off benzo’s in a clinical setting by gradually reducing the dose over 9 months, but relapsed again recently (not the first time I’ve relapsed they’re very very hard to come off).
I don’t experience any physical withdrawals from alcohol if I stop drinking for a few days, the only things I experience are sleep disorder and psychological cravings for it. I think different people have different reasons for drinking excessively. For myself, it’s a kind of escapism to avoid facing things and because it’s been my coping mechanism for most my adult life. I know it’s hard to comprehend life without alcohol for many. However after reading some of the comments on the forum I realise that we convince ourselves of this, but don’t really need alcohol so that gives hope. A little hope goes a long way.
The only advice I can give you (I’m just starting my journey day 1 without alcohol) is to be very careful with the benzo’s. If you’re still taking those and have a dependency, ween yourself off them gradually under a specialist mental health doctor if you can. I found regular doctors are pretty clueless about the dangers of coming off benzo’s too abruptly, they are far more dangerous than alcohol.
For alcohol withdrawal, some people seem to be able to moderate their intake and prefer to reduce consumption but if you have a life long problem and depend on alcohol I think it’s best to try and stop completely. Else it’s likely you will slowly slide back to excessive amounts over time if you’re anything like me. I have found moderating intake doesn’t work.
Take it one day at a time and remember you’re not alone.
All the best on your journey, hang in there.
Paul
Base day today and ready to go. Moderation or limits never worked. Have been kidding myself for along time now. Ive always had a all or nothing approach. Can easily go 2 or 3 days off but when given the green light its 8-12 stubbies and not a happy ending. i have wasted so much of my early to mid life through lost hours of drinking and the follwing days recovery. So many great dreams but none achieved basically because as soon as the bottle comes out, all productivity no matter how small stops. Cant wait to beat this and reach goals day by day.
Trev
Australia
Trev, I’m in exactly that same boat.. I’m desperate to stop and would welcome any support!
Lisa (Scotland)
Hi Kevin,
I went 6 month last time I quit. I’m hoping this time it’ll be for good. Alcohol is destroying my self worth and taking away the joy I got from my hobbies.
Hi Everyone,
This is my second attempt at this program. The first time I did what I always do, one foot out the door. Always looking for the loop hole.
I plan to follow every step this time. I really want to quit drinking. I’m so tired of it.
Fran
Fran I was just going to articulate exactly what you just wrote.
I always find the loop holes , and my list is never ending For excuses to drink. I’m so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I have my journal – not written in it for months – all ready for my new adventure
Hi Everyone,
This is the second time I have commenced this program.
I started last year and got to 5 months.
Then Covid, the reasons for drinking seemed overwhelming (it’s stressful, it’s momentous, our lives have changed, what is going to happen to my income? etc); a couple of months of “I’m just re-setting the date of my beginning to stop drinking”, then it was “oh, I have to give up [giving up]….’ can’t show my face/voice on the forum, I’ve blown it, just give in.
Few months down the track, here we are in August, and the “knock back half a bottle of wine no probs, every night” is getting worse! And I don’t seem to have an OFF button. I’m starting to feel like my liver is suffering and I’m discombobulated.
I had to gather myself, gather my resolve. I had to make the decision all over again that I don’t want to drink alcohol. That I am going to forego the convivial drink. I won’t drink champagne at the mother’s get dressed and made up with the mother-in-law to be and daughter before her wedding!
Convivial will be in other ways.
So here I am. I am going to start at the beginning with all the videos and the notes, and in a few months I will look back at my notes that I made last year for the same videos !
I am excited about the things that I remember were great about not drinking.
– No memory blow outs. No coarser skin on my face. More get up and go in the morning. Etc.
It’s great to hear that you are still on the journey 🙂
I am new to this and day one of preparation has begun although I feel like I need to read through the early material before I can feel confident to start reducing my alcohol intake. I think I need to prepare to prepare if that makes any sense. I love to go out walking with my dogs and I think that will be a great way of reducing cravings when I get started but unfortunately, a recent fall has left me with a broken ankle. I stopped drinking 6 months ago and I did keep a journal and one of the things I wrote was that I had found day one easier than I expected. I kinda hoped that that would give me the courage to abstain again but I have failed miserably and the only reason I can think of is that I can’t do the things I would normally do at the moment. Since COVID 19 I have really struggled, I live alone, had to shield due to health reasons and all the things that motivated me not to drink prior to COVID 19 are not available to me at the current time. I am afraid to go to the local leisure center for fear of contracting the virus. I would love to go swimming but again I feel too afraid to visit the pool. I have decided that I need to find lots of new interests to occupy me and stop me from craving and giving in to that bottle of wine. I am working on it as I really need to have more in my life than I currently have. What I have read and listened too so far has been excellent and I am really looking forward to getting started.
Well here we go I guess.
I’ve been drinking for as long as I can remember. I’ve tried many times to give up, 6 months longest stint. Allways just going cold turkey.
I haven’t had support except for a couple of group meetings, where my goal was to “CUT DOWN”… We all know how that went. I also went to an AA meeting but could not get my head around that.
From what I’ve heard so far I like Kevins approach…
I NEED to STOP drinking…
Thank you for your help.
Sorry I don’t know how to cancel my last message – lol. But I really do need to read them before I hit the send button. I meant to say I have not announced it on The forum. I’ve just been hiding and well , just out of commission. It’s embarrassing- but I’m reaching out for help and ready to tackle this demon once and for all. So I’m back and am hopeful my mind is in the right place.
Ashamed to say I have meet an utter failure. I’m so sick and tired of me and my behaviour, my shit excuses , and false promises. I have gone into the forum to announce this. It’s embarrassing – I am ashamed but I don’t want to give up hope. I need to really turn my brain around.
It’s good to hear from you Glynn… Remember that it’s the journey that you are on. Nobody else can do your thing for you. Where you are is much better than giving in to it. Well done for coming back and don’t be embarrassed. Mind over emotions.
Thank you Kevin. Means so much to me. Mind over emotions. So true. And I let emotions control my life. Hard to break that cycle
I am new to this group and still trying to figure things out.. what i can say is never be ashamed as long as you keep on trying. Failure is part of human kind and once we fail we think we can not ever succeed….but we can! I have been trying for years! But i believe there is hope and i will continue to try.
You always learn way more through failure than you do from success.
Hi Kevin,
I am on day -15. I have been drinking for 15 years. I started after a bad breakup and when my Dad was slowing down. AA didn’t work for me. Went on Antabuse about 10 years ago and the depression so bad, drinking seemed better. I am in a much different frame of mind now. I am actually looking to be alcohol free.
I still take antabuse to control my drinking but as soon as I go off of it I drink. I can’t continue like this.
Thank you for this program. I am hopeful and ready. I am going to give it my best shot. I want a new life.
Welcome aboard Frank. All the changes that count are going to be in your thoughts and actions. It’s all about using your reason and coping with the emotions. We are here to help with that and to move you towards the best version of yourself. It’s a great decision you have made and I’m very happy to be spending a part of the journey with you. 🙂
Back at it again…each relapse makes it tougher to give up alcohol. Today is T-15 for me, for the second time .. Hope this is it and I make the change forever.
I don’t want to say anything much as we all have gone through pretty much the same things…just that maybe this time I am a little more wiser to make this a permanent change.
I don’t feel anything at this time…just a proper blank and hope that the future starts getting brighter with each new day.
I turn 42 this July and this is my rock bottom…
Think about it as it is, a part of the overall journey. Sometimes there are false starts. Better having a few of those than never starting at all…
Each relapse does make it harder. I am on relapse 2 and the moment i thought about quitting I started drinking more…..ugh. I just started this program and really hope it works for health reasons…I also go through the same thing. Wishing you well and happiness!
Replace the word relapse with rethink and you’ll find it gets a lot easier. Ask yourself: Why did I put the alcohol into my mouth? What can I do next time to stop myself from putting the alcohol into my mouth. I hope that makes sense Sara 🙂
HI How come I can’t get into anything past this!!
Hi Robert, could you be a little more specific? Thanks, Kevin
Hi Kevin I meant go on to the next session. By the way it’s 7.47 am in Melbourne Friday but I tried to get to day 3 and cannot get in! I did day two yesterday but cannot go further what’s up with this program? Ta
I can change your dates to reflect where you are. Are you still getting emails for Preparation? You signed up on 10th June at 9.58am so that’s more than likely the problem. Try again for day 3 after 10 am your time. Once you become a full member I can alter that for you. Just let me know.
Hi there, I’m actually ready to start, I don’t want to drink again, did loads of podcasts and stuff. At one point should I go to? Thanks
You can go to day one any time you want. Just let me know and I’ll change the email days for you. Best get me here: kevin@habitsunplugged.com
Kevin, I’m approaching two weeks of no alcohol. I’ve heard that that is a sentinel time. One where the alcoholic is likely to relapse. Is this true??
Well…. I’m almost 2 weeks dry. And, having been off and on with this I have had to accept that I can never drink again. I also hope you have realized the same. It’s hard to accept. I can’t even put wine in my potroast because I know I’ll drink the rest of the bottle. My stepfather was an alcoholic. He was dry for 10-15 years. Drank some wine and back down the rabbit hole he fell yet again.
Day 1 of my new life. Drinking alcohol has been my habit for dealing with everything over the years and mistakenly I saw it as ‘my reward’. Well that reward has reeked havoc, caused financial disaster and now made me very unwell!! I am excited to think of my new life ahead and what it will bring? My golden journey!!
OK, finally rolling up the sleeves and doing this thing! I’m hoping the cravings won’t be too bad.
Good luck everyone I’m haven’t had a drink in 2 days, I was off it before for 4 and half yrs. Been on it for 4. So I’m really going to do my best at this. I’m a bit exited and not drinking anymore as they were the best days of my life with alot of achievements
First day here. Was sober for 6 months after being hospitalized for alcohol induced pancreatitis October 8th but fell off in a really bad way and reverted right back to my old ways. Two weeks of 750ml a day vodka put me right back where I started. Tried my best to quit yesterday and made it to 12 hours without a drink until the pain, sweats, rash, and swelling had me drinking again this morning.
I am going through the same thing. That is why i signed up for the program….I can not quit cold turkey without “symptoms”…… I get the shakes and nausea. And yes i give it up until the symptoms kick in than i find myself drinking more instead of less.
So I’ve printed off the first PDFs – the feedback from most people seems to be to work through everything so I will go with the majority. I feel a sense of hope today – I am nervous and a little scared of failure – however a day at a time to start with. Time for some reflection on my “whys” in particular.
Daugnhting is perhaps the best term I could use to describe how I am feeling, “seeming difficult to deal with in anticipation; intimidating”.
What bothers me is that i don’t feel anything specific. No fear, but also not much excitement. I don’t know what i feel really. Best of luck to you, mate.
You have to allow the process to take place… I was the same… It took a long time before a lot of my emotions were untangled from alcohol… You’ll get there 🙂
Feeling hopeful. I have a really nice life, and my addiction is ruining it. I feel like now is a good time to change my bad habits. As I was was listening to the podcast I realized I am probably in the best starting position I could ever get. The Covid lockdown limits party opportunities and provides time and space for personal development.
I am excited to start this program. I am in the midst of going through a divorce and have to get my life together. I have relied on alcohol for far too long to cope with my problems. People around me would either encourage me to drink or would criticize my drinking and I would become offended. I know that the only way to go from here is up and I am thankful to have found this program.
I too am very excited to start this problem. My marriage too is on the rocks but I tend to drink alcohol for every reason imaginable – when I’m stressed, bored, happy, sad, when it’s evening. There are no concrete reasons anymore. I want to be able to cope with what is going on in my live without relying on alcohol. Frightened of withdrawal symptoms but hoping tapering down to zero will address that.
Hi all.
Tomorrow I shall start reducing my drinking and have drink free evenings in between. I have stopped drinking before so I am under no illusion on how hard it it is. I tend not to sleep very well for the first week and feel anxious, but I know it passes.
The last time I stopped drinking was for a month in December 2019. I kidded myself that I would drink over the Christmas and new year period then stop again. Well that didn’t go as planned so I’m here and my aim is to quit for good. Yes I am nervous but I know my life better without drinking. I will have more energy and be alert. Also I will save money and I won’t be to worrying about what drinking is doing to my body.
Fingers crossed.
Carole
Good for you and how is it going? I am just starting on this site
, not sure I j Durst and how the forum works….
T-15! Excited and apprehensive at the same time, but keeping a positive attitude about this MUCH NEEDED life change!!!
I just started today. I have been drinking a bottle of wine for two years. I promise myself every day this is my last nite. And then tomorrow comes around and I’m making the same false promises. I am afraid to quit. But more afraid to continue.
I am eliminating alcohol because it has been a huge factor in many negative choices i have made in my life. It effects every facet of my being, my mind, my mental well-being, my physical body. It effects my relationships with those most important to me.
I have used alcohol as a means of escape to stress in my work life in emergency services, shout out to all those people, I know theres probably loads of us here.
I’m ready to be one of those people that say ‘I dont drink’, ive alwys envied those people.
Thanks for putting this together Kevin, youre a blessing mate.
Well said Theresa. I completely agree and a shout out right back at you.
I have been drinking a bottle of wine almost every nite for two years. I am highly functional during the day. Every night I say this is my last day and tomorrow I repeat. Hamster in a wheel. I also live with a heavy drinker which makes it more challenging for me. I’ve lost the old me
Hi Kevin. This will be my second go at this program. Needless to say I have failed to control my drinking. Drink 6 to 8 maybe even 10 per night (beers and spirits) Its creating tension and arguments with my wife and who knows how its affecting my kids. I’m starting at base day and have no intention of drinking starting today.
What’s frustrated me is I know how bad alcohol is and how it has changed my brain and body, yet still drink it.
I’m hoping with full year commitment I’ll have success.
Thanks.
Welcome Jason… All the best to you. Let me know if you have any questions.
Hello Jason…Your story pretty much mirrors my own. Started the 180 about a year ago and went 5 months dry. I lost 40 lbs. and was feeling proud. I bought 1 can of beer, it tasted great and that was it for a couple of weeks. Then I ordered a beer at a restaurant. Soon it was a 6-pack in the fridge. Now I’ve gained 45 lbs. I feel like shit and am determined again to stop drinking. Best of luck, and we both know not to even give it a chance again.
Hi I’m a new member, I joined today. I’ve struggled for sometime with drinking especially at the weekend, which I end up ruining with stinking hangovers. I’ve tried cutting down but as your tolerance increases so does the dosage and the hangovers. I’m pretty sick of wasting my days so I’m hoping that this will help me to get rid of the poison and allow me to live life to the full.
Congratulations for your great decision to join us… I wish you the best of luck and let me know if you’ve got any questions at all… Kind regards, Kevin
I am very pleased to have found this path now. I have problems with alcohol which I have rationalised for many years. I feel pretty broken by how it breaks me up. I feel releived to have found the support I was desperately needing. I want to complete 180 days. I have made the decision and excercising the choice.
I want to feel proud of myself
I want to identify with a framework that works for me and I can use quietly .
I want to be awake and stay awake to me finally taking seriously my need to save me from the torment it causes me.
I feel so grateful to the teacher who I have sought and has come into my life at this time.
Finally I want to notice the changes in me as I make choices in changing my life externally.
Many thanks
And so happy that you are finding support here Bernadette… You are going to feel proud of yourself. Your frameworks will gradually be built over time… The more you get into this journey, the more awake you will feel… Please let me know if you have any questions… Kind regards 🙂
Hi Kevin .. I stopped drinking in 2007 for 7 years and started again in 2014. I’ve been fighting alcohol since. Those 7 years were the best years of my life. Really hoping I can do it again.
You can do this again… I stopped for the year, probably around the same time… But I couldn’t wait to get back onto the booze again… This time it’s been completely different… Such a refreshing change in life from beginning to end
For the first time in a long time I feel optimistic that I am on the road to recovery. I’ve somehow landed up in the habit of drinking a bottle of wine every evening and fall asleep every night promising it’s my last. But it never is. I’m nervous but at the same time very hopeful and excited to move forward. This will be extra challenging for me as I live with a heavy drinker! But I never drank before around him so my goal is to get back into that headspace. I am just brand new here so forgive me if I post often or in the wrong spots as I did above. Lol. Thank you.
Hello Kevin thank you for putting together this program. I have been listening to you since you started in 2013. I read Alan Carr’s book last July and quit for four months. I thought I had it licked and then went on vacation with a drinker, who did not pressure me at all but I chose to start again. I’m going to try this way now. Thanks for being out there.
I’m looking forward to helping you forward Mary
Okay , here I go again ! 4 months clear of alcohol last year , 3 months clear the year before ! Always feel much happier without the poison , much more motivated , positive , clearer mind ! BUT…. then I hop right back on the wagon ???? Why do we self sabotage? We are not stupid people ? I am excited , scared of failing again ….
I am tired of drinking
I am tired of thinking about drinking
I am tired of being a couch potato, sitting every evening with a bottle/or ten of beer/s
I want to become clear and positive , to achieve , to be the best of me , that I can possible be
I have followed your videos Kevin on you tube before , this time taking it this step further
I cannot fail again !!
Use those 4 months and 3 months to push you and educate you. As I’ve said with others who are starting out, fear is a natural product of any big change. I’m excited about taking this journey with you 🙂
I had my last drink on 31 December. I’ve tried so many times to stop drinking. Once I managed a 3 month stretch and life was just amazing but then I thought I’d have ‘just one’ and that I could now drink in moderation……. right!, Back into the deep hole I plummeted. I want this so much. I need this so much – I’m just wrecking my life and I am really blessed with a great life and great family. I’m excited to be starting here but overall I’m scared of failure yet again. I have had millions of day ones. I’m going through the preparation even though I’m not drinking as I just want all the help I can get. Thank you Kevin and good luck to us all.
Welcome to the program Carole. Being scared is natural. That’s what we are here for – to help you get across that line, to 30 days, 90 days, 6 months, 1 year, onwards and upwards 🙂 I’m very happy you are taking the journey with the Preparation …
I have stopped drinking but only 3 days so I started with this preparation stage hoping it will add to my strength. I have been actively trying to stop for 5 years. I’m 67 an arty female…I have read maybe 20 good books on this, tried AA (not for me) done group and individual therapy. I have loads of good tools in my toolbox and believe I know how to use them. I know alcohol is a con job and I never miss it if I am in a pub….. I don’t like the taste of alcohol and I don’t like the high yet here I am still struggling with it when I don’t even like it….I am hopeful and excited to do this program. I also have ADD which I believe is not helpful as I get committed and then distracted from my commitment. Is there any hope for me?
You are welcome to the journey Rochelle. This is mostly habit, so of course there is hope for you. My main focus is to get you to concentrate your energies outside of the behaviour, focusing on what you are doing right now in the moment and what you want to do in the future… focus on want 🙂
Hi
I am a 66 year old non arty male but that does not make any difference.
drink has taken a lot of good things out of my life. I was a heavy drinker since I was about 19. I have also tried different programmes and had some success but ultimately went back to drink. Nothing good happens when I drink. I never feel happy the next morning.
Remarkably I am in good health and married. I want to be a mark two version of myself – new and improved. I think that this programme will get me there if I just keep trying. Someone said to me that if you have never made a mistake then you have never made anything. That’s how we learn. Good luck to you and keep trying.
Hey Matthew… Try to concentrate on the things that you are going to get back once alcohol is out of your life… I’m glad to hear that you are healthy and that your marriage sounds good …These are very important parts of life…
Starting drinking a few weeks ago after I put my cat, my buddy to sleep. Realized that alcohol is my go to coping skill. So I am starting over. Today is T-15. Looking forward to being clear headed!
Sorry to hear about your cat. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose any member of the family 🙁
Let me kmow if you need any help at all.
I guess if I keep trying to eliminate alcohol from my life there’s hope. I have so many things to be thankful for, I want to add this program to the list. Dec 21, 2019, T15 and excited about a new and longer life. All the best to everyone.
There is much more than hope. You are deliberately putting yourself onto the right road, without alcohol handicapping you, your life will flourish.
Feeling inspired!
Excellent 🙂
Here I am on day T-15. Finding my way around the site.
I am afraid of feeling sick during withdrawal. Realized today that I also feel sick when I drink. So if I have to feel sick anyway, I might as well be heading in the right direction.
I am also afraid that I won’t succeed.
I am also afraid that if I do succeed at not drinking, I’ll still continue to be the crap person I am today. That I won’t be able to make changes in myself that will allow me to feel self respect and peace of mind.
I really like the concept that I can feel excited about what lies ahead on this journey. Right now, my anxieties are very specific and clear. My excitement is theoretical and hazy.
My goals for this preparation period:
– Taper down in a safe way, without letting it become procrastination
– Develop a clearer picture of what I can feel excited about once I am not drinking. A clearer picture of what I want to achieve.
– Start holding myself accountable, in part by joining this group.
– Make a firm commitment in my mind.
– Identify a reason that is strong enough to keep me moving forward.
– Start talking back to the excuses I make to drink.
There is always some amount of fear associated with stopping using alcohol…Your goals are excellent 🙂 This is exactly the way to do this. Take control, make a plan, execute that plan…
Okay, here we go again. I gave up in January for 30 days – (I was on a strict diet), but went back to my old ways. So this time I’m giving up gradually – looking forward to a new way of thinking – not drinking thinking. I have enjoyed watching your talks on YouTube – that is how I got started “following you” ….thought I had better sign up as a sign of commitment
Fingers crossed!