Preparation
T -9 Morning
T- 9 Morning Audio
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Preparation
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Good morning Day 4 AF!!! So glad I invested in this program…. it came with a BIG push from my son and a lot of GUILT after he “caught me” on the rear end of one of my drunk binges….. just starting to sober up and realizing what I’d done… contacted TWO exs and the MOST egregious… drove again! 😢 Thank you Kevin and those sharing this journey with me! Onward and upward ❤️
Thank You and have Great Sunday for Everyone!
I have never thought about triggers and obstacles as separate entities before.
My biggest fear is that when I fully quit my marriage will fall apart. I worry our marriage is built on alcohol and with my new awareness and 20/20 vision I will see the weakness in my husband and no longer connect with him. I love him dearly and will not leave him. I guess I can only hope he may follow me to sobriety. It is this fear which has squashed my try’s before. 🤦♀️
I understand your concerns. You are heading into unchartered territory in many ways. Being in unchartered territory means that you don’t know what is going to happen, from a personal perspective or from your husband’s. He must adapt to the new you, but so you must adapt to the new you. This is the puzzle. How do we change ourselves while those around us stubbornly hold onto their old ways of doing things. This is why I emphasize the need for the 3 Ps, putting yourself first, but also understanding that other people are not on identical roads to you, even though with all the best will in the world, they are trying to give you the space to make the changes. You first have to understand who you are becoming. You need begin that connection to yourself before you can begin to connect to other people. If you don’t, it’s like trying to moor a boat to a shifting anchor point. Does that make sense?
Yes, it does make sense. Puting myself first has been a new awareness. Even though I hate to admit it, as a woman and a mom, I fell into the “care-giver” trap. I think what is now becoming clear to me, is that care giving is not something one does outside of oneself, but rather care giving is oneself, and that can’t be accomplished without being a care giver to yourself. It’s a basic concept but hard for many of us woman to actually do. I’m finally doing that now. Surprisingly, it’s a positive trend for the whole family. When I finally decided it’s not my job to be responsible for what or how much my husband drinks, that I’m only responsible for me, and my job is to remind myself of why I’m not drinking. That’s it. It makes life a lot easier.
The whole aspect of triggers is huge. I had a great week AF from Sunday til last night. I have to find another way of celebrating the end of the work week, of spending time with my husband, of being in my home. I get what you’re saying about it’s really in my thoughts that I will succeed for not.
I was thinking this morning about how one of my triggers has always been social events, dating, and occasions to join others in camaraderie and bonding. I’m actually realizing now that participating in this is a reactive behavior. Often times, I don’t want to drink but I do it because I don’t know how else to connect or join in. The situation presents itself and I just react the way I always have. Instead, I’m realizing that I can be the one that sets the tone for myself and simply don’t partake and just move on. I don’t have to drink and can ignore it the same way I’d ignore an offer to smoke a cigarette. I can still bond and have fun if I don’t smoke cigarettes or do other drugs so why would I need to drink poison? Thanks for this, Kevin.
This was one of the biggest realisations of my new journey-understanding that I hadn’t learned a lot of social skills earlier on because I was hiding behind alcohol use. You don’t need to drink this poison… It’s part of the alcohol industry propaganda… This is a new beginning for you… You’re going to start to learn, sometimes with discomfort, how to interact with other people without alcohol… Will certainly be doing a course on this 🙂
There were so many good aspects to today’s video I don’t know where to begin other than to just say thank you and onwards and upwards. I’m serious.
You’re welcome 🙂
Great video. Touching base and identifying my triggers is going to be such a mountain to climb. Living in an environment where there is just so much alcohol , and my habitual evening behaviour must change. It will change the dynamics is my relationship with my partner and my son whom lives with. Examining who I am is turning out to continue to astound me. Thank you